I've been struggling to write these last few days. I've been having difficulty finding just the right words. And for anyone that knows me...that's a very unusual thing for me to admit. I'm always full of words. Sometimes I'm so full of words I journal up to four times in one day!
So, I sat and got very still this morning. What came to me after meditation is that I am at peace. I have lots of things going on right now, but who doesn't? I had a card reading the other day and it said that I would have a lot to juggle, but I would be able to handle it. This says to me that the lack of words isn't from not being able to think clearly. It is a disconnection from my stillness.
So, I got still. And after meditation, I got into this very blissful state and realized my peace. It has given me the ability to release fear in a way that I never thought possible. I was raised to be a well mannered woman. Part of being well mannered means to be considerate of other people's feelings. Sometimes when you're worried about other's perception of you, it can manifest into a need to be perfect. Now, we all know, intellectually, perfection is impossible. However, tell that to my psyche when I've been really honest with someone and I start to worry about their feelings. "Was that mean? Did they understand me? Am I being fair? Maybe I'm wrong... Are they going to tell people that I was mean? Will people believe them? How does my hair look?" (what, it's my psyche?!)
Inner stillness is not something I've been familiar with in the past. In the past, I have generally had a continuous conversation running in my head. I'm not hearing voices...the only voice I hear is my own. It's the voice of fear usually. It's the "what if" that gets me. Ego is a difficult thing to keep in check. And it is ego that keeps that running commentary in our head. It's ego that makes us doubt ourselves. It's ego inflating our fears beyond reason. It is ego that keeps us from our stillness.
I am not going to say that I live in stillness...I am not the Dalai Lama. However, I will say that I have let go of an enormous amount of fear about other people's opinions and it has allowed me to live more in peace. I was able to do this by realizing that other people's opinion of me and my intentions are just that, THEIR opinions. Remember that people generally filter their opinions through their own experiences. They project their own fears on to you. Don't let them!
You are filled with the light of the Divine! Your fear is keeping you from that stillness...the peace that sits within you. It is that stillness that helps stress take your peace. It is the stillness that allows you to have joy when life sends the challenges that are yours to face. Stillness shows on your face.
It is necessary to take time to connect to that stillness. I strive to meditate every morning. This is a gift I give to myself. I start my day this way so that no matter what I face the rest of the day, I will have a moment of peace at the beginning. At times this is the only quiet moment I have in my day and I am grateful. If meditation isn't something that you connect with, sit outside & have a cup of coffee or tea and breathe. Exercise may seem meditative, however, you cannot find stillness while in motion. Do whatever works for you, but by creating a time for this stillness you open the door to release your fear, bringing you ever closer to your peace.
Until next time...I remain
Joyfully yours,
Robyn
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