This is really what trust is all about for me. I have been thinking a lot about trust recently. It's kind of a funny thing. People are always expressing their desire to be "able" to trust someone. But, my question is ~ if you put this person in your life, don't you trust yourself to know that they're worthy of trust? Yes, I understand that people can betray your trust. I have been both betrayed and the betrayer. But, remember, I'm talking about releasing your need for control. I'm not talking about trust between friends, family or lovers. I'm speaking specifically about our lack of trust that people can do "it" as well as you, or will care about it as much as you do, or whether they'll do it the way that you want them to. I'm talking about releasing the idea that you actually have control and trusting that people are capable.
I had a crazy experience the other day when I tried to be self-sufficient and contacted someone directly, instead of having my assistant do it. The person reacted as though they were in trouble! I have been training people for weeks to contact my assistant first if they want anything because she usually has the answer and I am usually busy. So, when this person heard from me, she immediately thought I was following up because I was unhappy. It was actually really awesome! It was a nice ego stroke that someone thinks that I'm that important (ha!ha! ME). But it was also a testament to the fact that my system of communication is working.
In the past, I have really found myself bogged down by details. Often when I needed to be thinking about the overall concepts of a project, I have been stuck in the minutia because there was no one else to care but me. This is both irritating and inefficient. I have had people work for me before. When I have, they have been an amazing gift to my life. I am able to do more, go farther, be better, just from having a good support system.
Trusting yourself is the key. If you do not trust yourself to know the difference between who is or will be on your side, then you are probably finding your life running at a slower, less productive pace. And you are probably running around feeling really crazy most of the time. No one can be all things at all times, period. However, it is vitally important to remember that the only thing we can control is HOW we behave.
All semblance of control needs to just be let go. The best we can hope for is a sense of well being with your situation.
I am going to give you an assignment. I want you to ask someone that you trust to do something for you. This is something that under normal circumstances you wouldn't "trust" anyone to do for fear that they won't do it right. This cannot be something that would be life threatening or job threatening if it weren't done right it just needs to be something that would be an annoyance if you later had to do it yourself.
The kicker is that you cannot check to make sure it's being done. You cannot call, text, email, send smoke signals just to "check in" or to "see how it's going". It is vital that you release the idea that you have any control over this. See what this feels like, did you have an easy or hard time with it?
If you are anything like I have been in the past, this will make you crazy! I still find myself creating havoc with my schedule when I don't follow my own rule and try to do it without consulting the keeper of my brain and my calendar. I have to remind myself why I trust her.
And now for a throw back that is just great for a giggle...the only control we have is over ourselves ~ sing it Janet!
