I found myself sharing some time with someone I haven't seen in quite a while. As we were talking, it was brought home to me how much things have changed for me in the last year. I don't think about it much because I am so filled with the joy of the change that I don't really think about "how much" things have changed. She seemed pleasantly surprised by the changes she was witnessing.
Today I spent some time watching daytime television. Shows about a woman and her journey to lose weight and one of my favorites about cleaning cluttered houses. What struck me was all of the excuses people use for the "why" they haven't changed. My favorite is, "I've always done it that way", with a close second, "I've never done it like that before". At which time you want to yell at the television, "and how's that workin for ya!?"
One of the reasons that I was inspired to begin this journey of spreading joy to everyone that I could, was because of change. I realize that change can seem scary and disconcerting. However, oftentimes change is necessary and most definitely at times out of our control. We simply can't stop change from happening, but how we adapt to it is absolutely in our control.
When you are dealing with children, stability is vital. This is why children have "security" blankets and if you have to move they have all kinds of advice for how to help your children adjust. However, that need for security and stability never really goes away. This why people stay at jobs that they are not happy at. This is why people stay in relationships that don't bring them joy any longer. At first it's about a need for security, but then it becomes so ingrained that it's easy to just get stuck there.
Over the years each time that I have lost a job it has been because I chose not to move when I was no longer being fulfilled. First I was given an opportunity to find a way out and then the Universe came in and helped me along. It doesn't feel helpful at first, it just feels awful. But, I notice that very quickly I wake up one morning really glad that I don't have to go back. I no longer wake up with dread at what my day will bring. I find myself waking with the anticipation of what my day will bring.
We can get stuck in the pain, anger, shame, guilt and resentment. When we are looking at what has changed versus what we want to do about the change, we are missing the opportunity to really find the gift that the change has brought to our life. There is always a gift. What that gift is can only be determined by you. Have you stopped getting the migraines every Wednesday? Do you wake up without the anxiety? Have you rediscovered the beauty of a sunrise? There are so many gifts to be found!
So, here's the challenge...you knew there would be one. Think about a change that you've experienced in your life. It can be a brand new one or an old one that you can't seem to stop going over in your mind. However, instead of pointing out all of the things that were unpleasant, scary or negative about that change. Try looking at what gift you received from that change. I don't want to hear any "yeah, buts". I understand things are not always easy to recover from, I understand that sometime changes can hurt. Just try to find at least one gift that the change brought to you, then find one more. It will definitely give you the opportunity to alter your perspective and then think of the joys that you'll discover!
I remain...joyfully yours,
Robyn
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